Alfie Collins was responsible for some of the best songs about Mendip caving. He often used melodies loosely based on ones by Paddy Roberts and the like, but his genius was the lyrics. In this one he actually composed the melody and it imagines that all the caving clubs on Mendip have become amalgamated into one giant club. Many songs refer to certain club myths like the tea making prowess of the MCG, the beer drinking capacity of the BEC and the bladder problems of the Wessex. Alfie cleverly works these into his lyrics. The reader will discover many more in this collection of songs.
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We used to have varieties of clubs and of societies
I often wonder why it is we kept 'em,
Like the Axbridge and the BEC the Wessex and the MCG the speleo's MNRC
and Shepton, (good old Shepton - spoken)
When we amalgamated on one thing we all insisted,
To see perpetuated names of clubs that once insisted.
CHORUS:
We're the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club,
We go caving climbing digging diving, roaming round from pub to pub,
We don't care if our thirst we can't alleviate,
As long as nobody tries to abbreviate,
The Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club.
In order alphabetical our names looked quite poetical
it seemed a good theoretical solution,
One that we could agree upon and get committees working on,
when drawing up our present constitution,
We were the Wessex Cave Club now we're members of the shower,
But we can hold our cider now for darn nigh half an hour.
CHORUS:
We're the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club,
Each year although we grumble we keep forking out our annual sub,
With fright above the forty we'll no longer trouble you,
As long as nobody leaves out the 'W',
Of the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club.
Although we sometimes disagree on points of speleology,
We speak with great authority on boozing,
And after all the pubs shut we in buildings of antiquity,
Will supervise the art of tea infusing,
And if we're vague at whats defined by vadose and phreatic,
About our title you will find our views are quite emphatic.
CHORUS:
We're the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club,
We've got six huts on Mendip where we eat and sleep and cook our grub,
And whichever one you go to ther'll be tea when you enter it,
As long as nobody leaves out the centre bit,
We're the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club,
Now we're amalgamated and completely integrated
we've become co-ordinated as expected,
And with other clubs from near and far we're bound to be particular
To ensure their applications are rejected,
Why even at this moment all our names get people squinting,
When they see our club notepaper with its solid mass of printing.
CHORUS:
We're the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club,
It's not that we're standoffish or enjoy delivering a snub,
But although a few more clubs among out numbers would be pleasant,
It would make our title longer that the darn thing is at present,
We're the Axbridge Bristol Mendip Shepton Wessex Exploration Club.
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