This is a song I wrote for no particular reason other than it came into my head! In my early caving days I was an instructor with the Somerset Scout Caving group and on one occasion I was leading a group of Scouts through top Swildons. Also in the party was a lady cubmaster. They are called that because cubs are too young to have mistresses!
Coming through the pretty way the lady cubmasters hips became lodged in a squeeze and she began to panic. Not a good thing to do as you become overheated and your body swells so you get stuck even more. I talked quietly to her to calm her down explaining that she would eventually be able to release herself. When she finally did get free she grasped me in a passionate embrace, such that I had to yell to the scouts on the other side of the squeeze to stay where they were!!
I was thinking fondly of this occasion when the chorus came into my head and the rest followed quickly.
When caving with ladies I try best to please,
Especially when they get stuck in a squeeze,
By gently explaining the reason or cause,
Will usually result in her losing her drawers.
I tried to bed 'er in Cheddar,
I felt 'er tittie in Priddy,
I stroked 'er But in the Shepton Hut,
But I 'ad me nookie in Wookey
When climbing a rift it is often good fun,
To let her go first 'till the climbing is done,
If climbing gets hard and the holds do not come,
She'll like a good push on her wet suited bum.
The ladies pretend that to cave makes them fit,
When really the underground gets on their tit,
Their motive is cunning, a masterly plan,
They're there to ensnare an acceptable man.