It is perhaps no coincidence that the rudest caving songs seem to come from the county of Devon and this one is no exception. Written by and about the Exeter University Speleological Society members, it sums them up perfectly. Not recommended for singing in Welsh pubs in the presence of gay masochists.
Lay me down on Mendips pastures, where nobody us can see,
Gently tie my hands behind me, and then let your passions free,
W--k my penis, w--k my penis, w--k me 'til I come no more,
W--k me 'til I come no more.
When we're down in Swildons caverns, where from sight we hidden be,
I'll remove my wet suit trousers, and I'll leave the rest to thee,
S--g my a------e, s--g my a------e, s--g me 'til I want no more,
S--g me 'til I want no more,
When at last we reach the Hunters, tie me to the sign outside,
There I'll hang in drunken stupor, while you savagely tan my hide.
Whip my buttocks, Whip my buttocks, whip me 'til I want no more,
Whip me 'til I want no more,
When at last we go to bed, in the caving hut that night,
Crawl into my sleeping bag, and then squeeze my bollocks tight.
Squeeze my bollocks, squeeze my bollocks, squeeze them 'til I scream no more,
Squeese them 'til I scream no more.